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This excerpt from Marcia Falk‘s “The Book of Blessings” offers a contemporary, open-ended text for blessing one’s children on Friday night in a way that empowers them with a sense of possibility, is free of gender roles, and does not limit them to the qualities of particular ancestors. Instead of blessing the children to be like the biblical role models, this alternative blessing encourages children to simply be themselves. Marcia Falk is a feminist poet, painter, writer, and Judaic scholar, best known for "The Book of Blessings” in which she re-creates Jewish prayer with new blessings, poems, and meditations that focus on the sacred potential of each moment. Along with a short introduction by Kolot: Center for Jewish Women’s & Gender Studies, this ritual was submitted to Ritualwell.org, a project of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College that provides a platform for creating new Jewish practices.
An Alternative Blessing Over the Children
"The Book of Blessings," published by Marcia Falk in 1996, has become a cherished treasure of modern liturgy. In her commentary on Blessing the Children she writes:
"The custom of blessing one’s children on the eve of the Sabbath and holidays is an especially poignant Jewish ritual, but the content of the traditional blessing is rather puzzling. …[I]t asks God to make the male child like Ephraim and Menasheh; an adaptation for girls asks that they be like the foremothers Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah. Why Ephraim and Menashe, one cannot help but wonder – indeed any particular ancestors at all? In its specificity, this blessing seems restrictive rather than expansive; it doesn’t open out to the range of possibility and promise that ought to characterize youth."
She offers these alternative blessings:
To a girl:
_______________ (the child’s name),
Hayi asher tihyi –
vahayi beruhah
ba’asher tihyi.
Be who you are –
and may you be blessed
in all that you are.
To a boy:
________________ (the child’s name),
Heyeyh asher tihyeh –
veheyeyh baruh
ba’asher tihyeh.
Be who you are –
and may you be blessed
in all that you are.